Things I Would Tell My Younger Self
What would you tell your younger self?
At least once or twice a week, I think how did I get here? I’m 41, unmarried, no relationship, no children, I don’t own property, and I’m a freelancer, not a full-time employee. Some days I’m perfectly fine with all of that. But there are days when I wonder what could I have done differently? Were there big or small steps that could have changed the path I’m on?
What advice could I have given my younger self?
Calm down: Often I give myself unnecessary anxiety. I think the sky is falling (usually when it comes to finances) and sometimes I make rash decisions. But if I just take a breath and weigh all my options, I’ll see things aren’t as bad as I think.
Have more faith/confidence in myself: I think if I believed in myself, and my skills more I would have made different decisions career-wise.
Stop comparing yourself to others: Your success is your success; it isn’t lessened because you haven’t had the same amount of success as your peers.
Start saving money sooner: I wish I made the conscious decision to save money in my twenties. By that I mean, I wish I had started a saving mindset in my twenties. A few dollars here and there, I think would have put me in a better financial position long-term. Saving is hard for me now, as almost everything I make goes toward living expenses.
Go to a cheaper grad school: My undergraduate degree was relatively “cheap,” and I have paid those loans in full. Grad school on the other hand…I will be paying those well into my sixties. When I made the decision to go to grad school, I was recently laid off and wanted a career change. I wanted to get into book publishing. I believed an HR rep would put more weight on my resume if I came from a “NAME” school—a prestige school. In 2012, there were different barriers to entry into book publishing and I believed I needed a “NAME” school on my resume. Looking back, I think I still could have made it if I had gone to a state/city school instead of a private university.
Diversifying my skills: I have years and years of experience working at a newspaper and in book publishing, but it’s only now that I’m learning to apply those skills to other fields. What if I had done that years ago? Would I struggle less as a freelancer?
Get out of the apartment; Get out of my comfort zone: I need to get out of my own bubble more often. I’m a bit introverted, so this is a hard one.
Act on your dreams sooner not later: I always believed I would be a writer, but I never took steps to make that happen. Starting this Substack is my first step toward those dreams. I’m still finding my voice, my strengths. But I’m working on a pitch to an online publication. 🤞
You’re not going to have it all figured out at 30 or even 40: I always thought 30 and 40 would be big milestones, and in a way, they were—just not what I was expecting. By both milestone birthdays, I was amid a layoff. The first layoff was a shock, and I was questioning life. By the second layoff, my mindset was a bit more mature—but still wondering about my purpose in life. Maybe my purpose is as a writer, but I know it’s ok not to have it figured out.
What would you tell your younger self?
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Stop comparing yourself to others- something that is a lifelong challenge for me! Loved this post!
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